Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Kindness builds strong relationships

Kindness builds strong relationships

Are you kind to your partner?  When you get into an argument do you practice kindness or you try to prove you are right?  Do you constantly play the game I'm right and you are wrong?  How to be kind to your lover?


Kindness is one of the most important characteristics of every happy and successful relationship.  Couples who you see have a successful and fulfilling relationship nurture each other instead of proving each other wrong.  Showing compassion is part of them and it is a positive habit that they have ingrained in their personality. 


I often see couples have a hard time in their relationship due to the fact that they play "I'm right and you are wrong" game.  They start blaming each other instead of taking responsibility and practicing the art of kindness.

 As long as you stay blaming each other, your relationship will be rocky and if the blame stays constant, your relationship will get affected negatively.

Jennifer mentions that she learned to practice the art of kindness in her relationship from her partner John.  She goes on to mention that whenever she used to start blaming him for issues, he starts to be kind and compassionate to her and in return, she started doing the same. 


As I mentioned in my book, "How to win your lover's heart" that if you want to have a successful and happy relationship with you partner, then you have got to eliminate blaming the other individual and start being compassionate and polite. 


How to be kind to your partner

If your goal is to learn how to apply the concept "practice being kind rather than being right" in your life, follow the guide below:


1.  Put the argument behind you


Putting the problem or argument in the past is crucial if you want to avoid small, petty, and sometimes big arguments and problems in your relationship.  When you put the argument in the past, you are saying to yourself the argument is over and it is time to look for solutions.


You might ask how can you put the argument behind you in the past?  Glad you asked!  The way I do it is by focusing on the end results and how this problem is going to be affecting our relationship in a few days, a few months, and in the long run.  This small shift in my mentality has helped me tremendously to put the argument behind me in the past and focus on the solutions instead and in return made a huge positive impact in my relationship. 


2. Focus on your partner's love


After you put the argument in the past, you need to start focusing and reminding yourself of the love you two have for each other.  This will help strengthen your focus on the positive.  When you're focused on the positive and the good in your relationship, it will be easier for you to practice to be kind rather than being right.


3.  Say something kind


Now it is time to say something kind.  I have personally made it a habit to say something kind and positive on a daily basis.  The more kind and compassionate I'm, the more I get the same in return.


After you practice these three steps, you will start doing them unconsciously and you won't notice that you are actually following these powerful steps.  These 3 steps might be simple in nature, but powerful when they are applied in life and in your relationship.  However, first you have to practice to be able to get to that level.  Practice makes perfect

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