Relationship Problems

Those relationship problems never seem to go away. Why is that? Is it possible that problems are a by-product of a relationship?

What is a problem anyway? It is a certain thing, or situation that you are not willing to accept as it is. You want to change it.

What do we want from a relationship? What is a relationship without problems?

There is no relationship without problems! There is no life without problems! For the reason that we always want to change; change ourselves, others, situation. Life is change!

The bottom line is we will always have problems. Deal with it! Learn from it! Laugh at it! Make problems your ally! Change your perception of the problems.

Don't fear them: fear creates resistance. What we resist will persist. Love them. Love transforms. To love is to understand and accept.

What we are looking for is always right here, right now.

We don't want to accept it; we prefer to expect it. (smile)

Over 90% of all failed relationships result from a lack of honest communication and awareness. Awareness is a key to an honest communication.

Thus, a relationship is a partnership, a friendship where people can support each other in life, being fully aware that they are getting into it out of basic need - survival. Only then true intimacy and honesty can take place in a relationship.

Starting a relationship with the belief that it is for the sake of (emotional) love manifests expectations, which will never be met. On the other hand, being aware of the true motives and acting upon them with humbleness will create moments of unconditional love.

We need a true friend!

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."

--William Arthur Ward

Dealing with Relationship Problems

They say we are happier, are in better health and may even live longer if we have deeper relationships with family and friends. Dealing with relationship problems can ensure that couples, parents, friends and families have fulfilled relationships.

Mike Rudink, series producer of ‘The Happiness Formula' has researched some of the factors that scientists are recommending in order to reach a fuller, happier life. These happiness factors include all these relationships such as marriage and other long term intimate relationships. Another happiness factor is that of a person believing that he has meaning. This ultimately related back to a belief in something bigger like religion, spirituality or a philosophy of life. Also included in the having meaning happiness factor is that of having enjoyable long term goals.

Many people however will struggle with maintaining good and healthy relationships due to their relationship problems.

The necessity to decrease the amount of issues that are present in a relationship will help towards maintaining and making long term healthy relationships.

There are many factors that lead to issues within a relationship. Money and partner insensitivity were cited as the main causes of arguments in our relationships. According to a You Gov. survey from 2007, 34% of married and cohabiting couples said that arguments about money, spending or investing where the biggest issue for couples; whilst 25% cited partner's insensitivity.

Money worries relating to debt and unemployment for instance can spark off serious rows with our partners. We may find ourselves moody, extra-sensitive and difficult to be around.

One partner may feel that the other is spending too much money at a time when neither can afford it, or that they should be saving in case either of them loses their job.

Whilst the other partner may feel that they are being put under intense scrutiny for buying a more expensive brand. 

Although arguments are a common occurrence, some may say they are good for airing concerns and helping us to reach a compromise. Arguing instead of letting problems simmer and build into bigger issues may be more beneficial; although, on the other hand, bickering constantly with your partner may also be equally harmful to the relationship in the long run. Couples need to realise that there is a happy medium between airing concerns and bickering. Couples who work on their relationships will be able to realise when it is best to speak about issues that would have an impact on their relationship.

Arguments about money can quickly escalate into other issues if care and sensitivity is not applied. An argument over money and spending may lead to other arguments about other unimportant aspects in the relationship, and soon the couple with be faced with many more relationship problems as they begin to fight about any and everything. Therefore, being mindful of why and how we argue is crucial to maintaining happy and healthy relationships.

Relationships - Do You Have Problems With Relationships?

It's pretty simple why relationships work or don't work. Here are the main reasons they don't:

One: You go into a relationship without knowing what you want.
Two: You go into a relationship with a firm picture of what you want, with very little flexibility.
Three: You go into a relationship not caring what you're going to get.
Four: You go into a relationship knowing something better will come along, and you'll go after it.

If you are about to go into a relationship, wouldn't you rather it was one you were proud of, one you were happy in, one you felt great about? One you're going to enjoy telling your grand kids about? How do you do that?

First, if you don't know how to do that, check around. Go to places where couples are and watch them interact. What do you like about what you are seeing? What don't you like?

After you've done this several times, you go home and write a list.

Yes, I know. Lists can get you in trouble sometimes. Well, this list is just a list of what you saw that you liked. That's all. You just liked what you saw and wrote it down.

There are those who say to write down what you don't like also. I say Why? If you write down what you don't like or want, you are attracting it. In your mind, you say "I'm going to stay away from "that"." Your brain hears whatever "that" is, and that's exactly what you will see. You are attracting "that" simply by thinking about it. It isn't exactly what you are saying that matters, it's what your brain is hearing that counts. Think about this.

"I'm not going to give that person a piece of my mind."

Or this.

"I'm not going to eat that cookie."

Or this.

"I'm not going to spend all my money before payday."

Your brain doesn't acknowledge "not", so take the "not" out.

What is your brain hearing -- over and over?

What inevitably happens? You do give that person a piece of your mind. You do eat that cookie. You do spend all your money before payday. Because chances are, you are saying it or thinking it over and over.

Again, I say Why write down what you don't like? Why not concentrate on what you do like, and attract that into your life?

Going back to your list, what if it has things like love and respect and trust? Are you going to be able to attract love and respect and trust?

If you don't love, respect, and trust your inner self, then it's going to be hard to attract love, respect, and trust from others. Why? Because love attracts love. That means you have to love yourself in order to be loving and attract love.

Do you think you deserve love?

Do you think you deserve respect?

Do you think you deserve trust?

If the answers to those questions are no, what can you do about it?

It goes back to what are you telling your brain.

If you don't feel worthy of someone else's love, respect, or trust, you won't attract it.

How do you go about making it so that you do feel worthy?

You find three times a day to sit and relax. You visualize or pretend that you are worthy of all good things. Start seeing everything you do as good. Start right now making yourself the type of person someone can love, respect, and trust in your mind. It will soon come true in your life. What you see and believe, you can achieve.

Good luck!

Thanks for reading.