Showing posts with label Save. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Save. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Relationships 101 - How to Save Your Relationship

Did you know that most relationships can be saved, no matter how hard the breakup was? There are cases when people shouldn't try to save their relationships, like when there is an abusive partner. But most cases have the potential to be fixed, and you already have the skills to save your relationship.


The main problem is that people usually give up too soon. People get angry or upset after a breakup and lose sight of what happened in the past. Look back in time....if you were having a good relationship at one point, it is very possible that you can bring it to be that way again. You have to decide if your relationship really is worth saving.


To cause even more problems, sometimes one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship, but the other person can't look past the bad to remember the good times. And is it enough for just one person to work at the relationship?


It is possible, but not easy.

It's hard to stay optimistic when your ex isn't willing to work with you at all at trying to fix the problems. It might seem like you are fighting a losing battle.

Here's an important tip though: you have to keep working at it!


Even if the relationship doesn't heal, it will make you a better person. But if you keep working at it, then you have a good chance of getting back together. You can't just give up the moment things start to look bad.


It's important to remember the way you behaved at the start of your old relationship and compare that to how you are behaving now. Try to adjust your behavior so you are acting the way you used to when the relationship was still in good shape. Be thoughtful and be a good friend and work things out nicely instead of begging your ex to come back.

Relationship Rescue Work To Save Your Relationship

If you are wanting to keep a marriage or relationship afloat and aren't willing to give up on it then you may need some relationship rescue. There are many books about it and lots of advice given from friends and counselors. There are marriage therapists to go to for counseling but most everyone will end up saying the same things and will not give you sound advice to take action on.

The best things that you can do in any relationship rescue is to aim at being honest and accept one another. Doing both of these may be difficult if you aren't willing to accept the fact that much of the blame in the difficulties of the relationship is shared. Own up to your own flaws and accept that there may be some truth to the complaints that your significant other has of you. If you want the other party in your relationship to change things you must realize there are probably things that you need to change as well.

If you want them to keep an open mind about things that you wish for them to work on then you must do the same.

True love will require compromise many times. You must be able to bend your will and give up some things to make the relationship work. If there is going to be a relationship rescue taking place. Both parties need to take a hard look at themselves and see what things they need to give up and work on to be more compatible.

The largest part of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it may be a false reality. Something may seem like the worst situation in the world but then, after a change in perspective, it may not seem all that bad at all. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In relationships this is especially true. Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship management. Look closely at the situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work or, worse yet, a bum. Also ask why certain things are being done instead of jumping to conclusions.

Talk through things and when things are settled, drop them and move on. Much of the problems that relationships face is due to the fact that there is someone in the relationship, or maybe both in the relationship, who hold on to grudges. Don't let that happen. If there were things that happened in the past that have been dealt with, then let them go. When you do have discussions or arguments don't bring up the past. Deal with the present. Don't don't fight battles more than once.

If you are truly willing to see your relationships rescue, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship


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Relationship Psychology - Can Save Your Relationship

The science of relationship psychology can be used to improve your relationship, at it's core its simply a way to learn how to identify and learn to change the destructive things you do in a relationship. This could be something as simple as always falling for the wrong person or just being so insecure that you slowly tear your relationship apart.

Learning to understand each other, and actually listen to what your partner has to say is a vital skill that you must learn if you want peace in your relationship.

It's no surprise that men and woman communicate differently, too. We all know that men tend to like to take action and women are more likely to want to talk about the situation. That in a nutshell is the big reason why men and women have so many difficulties in relationships, they just need to learn how to communicate more effectively with each other.

When it comes to using relationship psychology to help improve your relationship, talk to your partner about what they think is the perfect relationship and what they expect this relationship will be like.

They may have an all together different idea than you do about the subject. Say, for example, that your husband grew up in a home where his father dominated everything then he may feel he has that right in his own relationship. And if you grew up in a family that was more democratic than that and everyone was allowed to be a part of any decisions that were made, then there will be problems in your relationship.

Getting things out in the open and learning to deal with them right from the beginning will enable the two of you to not have any misunderstandings or get your feelings hurt because you understand where the other is coming from.

If you think you have met your perfect match, your soul mate, the love of your life, that does not mean that everything will always be sunshine and roses. I think a lot of people who think they have met 'the one' mistakenly assume that they will always get along and the relationship will always be perfect and that they won't have to work at it. Well, let me tell you something, life is not a fairy tale and relationships like that only happen in fairy tales.

Having a healthy relationship does not just happen, it takes some effort on both your parts. So educate yourselves right from the beginning and then put what you learn into practice, simple.

If you really want to start out on the right foot, get some premarital counseling. There are counselors who specialize in premarital counseling or the minister of your church probably offers it as well. Use this time to build on the good things about your relationship and nip the problem areas in the bud. The counselor can teach you both how to communicate effectively and give you both insight into how your partner thinks and behaves in certain situations.

Define the Relationship to Save Your Relationship

Allow me to be very blunt about this...


If you have an idea that you're on your way to a happy marriage and your partner thinks the whole relationship is just a fun "fling"... then you're obviously traveling down a path of imminent problems. The devastation, pain, hurt emotions, misery, and broken hearts all tend to lie in the immediate future of ALL couples that fail to define what sort of relationship they're in.


You see... the problem lies with our own impressions and thoughts. Everyone assumes things are normal and tends to think of their actions as normal. The problem with that is because there is no such as normal. We area all uniquely different from the next and have our own unique set of needs, desires, turn-ons, fears, and personalities. The strong points and weak points that makes us up is what defines who we are... much like it can define our relationships and what is needed from one.


Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for "normal" behavior.

What this means is that on some very basic levels, we are going to assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel, and desire what we desire. Most of us are aware on a conscious level that this isn't the reality of it all, but it's hard to put it into perspective at a conscious thought process at every given moment in time.

As long as things seem to be going okay, we have a very natural tendency to let this continue more and more. Because what can seem more normal then that? They're happy... you're happy... everyone's happy! So there's no need to examine our expectations and assumptions about our relationships until things go wrong.


This why the need to define the relationship early on is so beneficial, because everyone else is....

everyone else. They may be happy in the relationship, but they could be happy for different reasons then you assume or think. If you let this go for to long, then you're only going to be setting yourself up for disappointment and pain. Even a heap full of resentment and depression.

When you honestly take the time to define the relationship, you are taking hold of the reins in your relationship. You can see where you are, where you wish to be, what path you desire, and where you are going to be heading. This will allow you to have a healthier, stronger, more deeper relationship because you will both be pulling in the same directions rather than a pushing effect as I have often given advice about on many occasions and the effects that pushing will have on destroying your love for each other.


The uncomfortable issue that arises with defining your relationships is the problem that it's not the most easiest of tasks to do. It can be quite uncomfortable and awkward, even nerve racking to discuss. And there is always the fear element that your partner will reject you or have a much different opinion. Their desires, expectations, and goals might not be the same as yours and you only learn that your relationship is coming to an end much sooner then you would have ever been able to foresee.


While this fear is valid, it is for the best that you define your relationships at an early stage because it is actually for the best. You'll have to look at the efforts involved with trying to define the relationship as being an exercise of love and respect for your partner. It can be pretty tough sometimes, but at the same moment there is a small chance you might get hurt. And in the end of it all, the truth lies in the fact that it will always be for the better and the sake of your own happiness and in turn, a huge chance that it will make the relationship stronger, healthier, and much deeper then it was before.


If you need help in figuring out what you need to do in order to define the relationship... there is loads of help available. This is one of the best things you can do to build a strong relationship with your partner, and it is well worth the effort!